I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
