Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
