Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
