sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
