dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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