She is in my trunk
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
