At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
