dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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