have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
