She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
