Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
