I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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