i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
