Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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