I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
