i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I think I just sharted jello shots
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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