at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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