she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
