I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
