Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
