just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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