so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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