We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I enjoy the company of your penis
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
