who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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