Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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