well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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