He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
