as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
