Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
