it's too hot outside to masturbate.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
