her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
