He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize