i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
