roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
