UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
