i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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