but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
