just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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