Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
