Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize