hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
