Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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