they need to just BURY HIM!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
