He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
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