was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Is it penis luge time yet?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
