Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
