I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
