i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
