they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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