i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
should my penis look like a turkey
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
