Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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