I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
