I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
