I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
