Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
