I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Randomize