OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
