Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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