i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize