I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
