I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
